There.
I’ve done my part, universe. I misused the blender making a strawberry smoothie at lunch, causing the blender to explode smoothie all over the walls, floor, counters, my shirt, my hair and face.
Now, BY THE LAWS AND RULES WHICH YOU HAVE SET UP VIA ROMANTIC COMEDY DOGMA, YOU MUST NOW PRESENT ME WITH AN UNREASONABLY HANDSOME MAN WHO WILL BE ENCHANTED BY THE BLOP OF SMOOTHIE I MISSED ON MY FOREHEAD.
GO AHEAD. I’LL WAIT.
