I watch too much Television

I have seen

6 Oscar nominated movies in 4 days, and I’m going to see another one tomorrow.  I saw THREE today, IN THE THEATER, in what was a completely epic Oscar movie marathon day (though I kind of have a headache now, and this involved a little bit of high-speed careening from one movie theater to another to make the showings.)  I’m still not sure what I think should win best picture (just so long as its not The Help or Extremely Loud and Incredibly ill-advise—I mean, Incredibly Manipula—-I MEAN Incredibly Maudli—um.)  But what really struck me, aside from having to watch the effing preview for the new (curse-word redacted for the faint of heart YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) Nicholas Sparks movie The Vow FOUR TIMES (one movie showed it TWICE beforehand—I finally got up and went to the restroom during the fourth time I was forced to go through that today.  Also, I saw that preview for the movie where a bunch of white British old people go to India thrice.  Sigh) was that there were a lot of weird connections in the movies I saw:

• Amanda Root has a small part in The Iron Lady.  Ciaran Hinds is in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.  They were together in Persuasion, which I watched (for the 1.6^15000000 time) last week.
• Tom Hardy was in Tinker Tailor, and he was also in Warrior, which I saw in the theater, and bought last week, and watched again on Wednesday.  I have no problem with Tom Hardy showing up in everything always.
• The French actress in the Artist looks JUST like Rachel McAdams, who was in Midnight In Paris, which I saw Friday, and who is also in the new Nicholas Sparks movie with Channing Tatum (haha!) (Channing Tatum was also in Haywire, which I saw last Friday) which looks miserably awful, and whose preview I was forced to sit through (did I mention this?) FOUR FREAKING TIMES today.
• Benedict Cumberbatch was in Tinker Tailor, and he’s also in Warhorse.  So.  He was very good in Tinker Tailor, and he has fun floppy hair in it.
• Tom Hiddleston is in Warhorse, and also in Midnight in Paris.  He is beautiful in both.

These are my opinions so far:

• I want Gary Oldman to win Best Actor for Tinker Tailor.
• I want Nick Nolte to win Best Supporting Actor for Warrior.  I would have wanted Albert Brooks in Drive, but unfortunately, the man who turned in the best supporting actor role this year was not even given a nomination for it.  
• I kind of want that French lady to win Best Supporting Actress for The Artist.
• None of the, believe me, LOTS of Oscar nominated movies I have seen, though, frankly, has been as good as Drive.  Or Warrior, really.
• So far, I’ve seen 4 (tomorrow, I’m seeing the Descendants, so it’ll make 5) of the 9 best pic noms.  I have refused to see the two listed above, so I cannot comment on them (other than to reassert my problems with their general subject matter and/or story-telling device, respectively), I might see Moneyball, though I find the idea of it very tiresome, and I probably won’t see Tree of Life.  Of the 4 I’ve seen, though, I think I’d have to give it to Hugo.  It’s the only one that manages to be creative, introspective, metatextual, emotional, heartfelt, passionate, and affecting, and then all with something valid to say about passion and art and family, all at once.  The others have managed to be varying degrees of some of those things, but not all (e.g., The Artist was lovely and meta, but it ultimately didn’t really have any meaningful message, or at least any meaningful points that Hugo did not ALSO have, and say better.)  I’ll update after the Descendants, if anyone cares, or if I remember, or if it changes my mind in any way.
• Why exactly was Tinker Tailor not nominated for Best Picture?  And The Help was?
• I’ve only seen 2 of the best actress pics.  I’d take Rooney Mara over Meryl Streep (SACRILEGE! and also, I still maintain that, other than the obvious upgrade in the Blomkvist actor [Daniel Craig, ROWR!], there was no point to the Dragon Tattoo remake, plus don’t even get me started on movies in English with vague foreign accents of varying degrees of success! DON’T EVEN.)  Mostly just because Meryl Streep could play an Oscar-nominated portrayal of Margaret Thatcher—with a freakishly accurate British accent—in her sleep or a coma.) But I have no problem with any of the Best Actress choices, so beats me!  I have no preference in this category.
• None of these movies is as good as The Fugitive.

There.

I’ve done my part, universe. I misused the blender making a strawberry smoothie at lunch, causing the blender to explode smoothie all over the walls, floor, counters, my shirt, my hair and face.

Now, BY THE LAWS AND RULES WHICH YOU HAVE SET UP VIA ROMANTIC COMEDY DOGMA, YOU MUST NOW PRESENT ME WITH AN UNREASONABLY HANDSOME MAN WHO WILL BE ENCHANTED BY THE BLOP OF SMOOTHIE I MISSED ON MY FOREHEAD.

GO AHEAD. I’LL WAIT.

Tagged: I don't make the rules universe.I'M WAITING.